...to see, to think, and to remember...

It is the 20th of May 2010, I have been here in NZ, the land of dunia-deen (land of the deen) for about 4 months since. looking to the people and observing their culture here, I noticed a blatant distinctions as well as inevitable similarities.

Ever-since I was little, it has never come to me that, I am going to further my study far away from my homeland. I grew up in a small and simple community of mainly farmers and fishermans. I saw simplicity in life, and how my people keep so many things to themselves. We end the day just as the way we started it. But, we were happy then. That what matters in life, isn't it?. We inherited, from our ancestor a strong relationship and dependency with the land that we inhibited. We were rich, with our historical culture, beliefs, and norms. We were most richly blessed with the fertile land which uproots our dream to sustain our life.

It was not until, the rays of modernization started to peek into our life. We did not smell and sign that it was going to affect us as the way it did now. We were unaware to the fact that, if left uncontrolled, our life is never going to be the same anymore. I would not say that I am going against development. In fact, I regarded it as an essential part of living. Development serves as a measure for us to grow.

My childhood was, going to the school in the morning and listen to what teachers and friends have to say. My childhood was, temped by the laughter and screaming of friends playing baseball in the paddy field a stone throw from my house. My childhood was playing "pondok2 with Anong and Bida who happened to be our (my sister and I) worst enemy. My childhood was going to the masjid just beside our house to learn the holy Quran and get scolded by the elders for being noisy.

That was my childhood; the mean on how I have been nurtured until I become the person I am today. Sometimes, I lamented with the fact that, even though we shared the same experience, rare.. that we turned the same way. My childhood friends, some left school while they are still young. They were forced to mature earlier; they have to work, to make living for their family. I understand that kind of struggle. I saw it everyday, in Pa and Ma's faces.

Now, that I am here, in the place that is totally alien to my hometown. I often reminisce back to the past to reflect, to check and to evaluate, how I have been through life. Well.. what we can measure is just, how long have we traveled in this journey, not how far more that we have to go. No one ever know, until the moment of death come really really near.

I dislike when people being judgmental towards others. I acknowledge the fact that, everyone has something so say and it is just what they thought. But.. I dont know.. Why do we have to judge people and give them the characters that we though is resonance with them. I don't get it..

My childhood is now just a memory. I am getting a wee bit older now that I am starting to adopt pieces of cultural expectancy, instilling them within me and transferring myself to become a totally new being. In turn, I have started to omit my innocence. That is just part of it. I started to grow a dream. I dream of so many things. I am most richly blessed. To be given the change to life as a muslim. I am also given the opportunity to enhance my knowledge about Islam. I am blessed with loving families and friends.

I am blessed by the air, through trial and failure. Alhamdulillah..

Thank you for reading this. This is just my story about my past and how I come to learn and touch "life". You also have your own. cherish them, grow in them. This life is short, so, fill it with anything that is necessary only. All the best to you and I. We are most richly blessed.. Alhamdulillah!