Just come up~

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious and The Most Merciful~


I have just emerged from a long sleep, the feeling of head ache + flew and inconvenience at heart, saddens my early morning..

Ma'thurat: remedy for the soul~

I din notice that I have somewhat, grew apart from it. (Ya Allah, berilah kekuatan dan keteguhan)

ukhuwah: pengikat hati

when was the last time we prayed jamaah? I miss those moment and I want it again. (Ya Allah.. Jangan Kau palingkan hati kami, setelah Engkau beri kami petunjuk)

Bicara: perungkai resah

I cant recall, when was the last time we sit and talk together..

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This thought just come up this morning, reminisce back to the past, makes me reflect of what I have done, making me ending up in this path.. this very day..

terrible stomach ache

My last night at home was unforgettable. It was a calm, peaceful evening. My friends came to my house to bid me farewell before I flew to New Zealand. We were talking and reminiscing our past. haha... The good old days.. My heart whisper..

My stomach was grumbling. I can feel the pain all over my body. I have never feel like this before. I press my stomach hard, trying to stay still. Finally, I collapse..

My mom was next to me, giving me some massage. I feel terribly ill. I was already thinking of canceling my flight to NZ the next day. I can feel extremely cold at my palm and feet. My sisters covered me with 3 layers of comforter, but it felt nothing. I felt extremely cold.

I muted. Tears running fast on my cheek. My mom was really panicked. My father suggested that we went to the hospital. I was thinking, the hospital is 45 minutes ride from my house. I might have been dead standing the pain on the journey there. I refused to go. Slightest move of any part of my body causes me utter pain.

I cant remember how long I cried and call up my mom every time the stabbing pain came to my stomach. I already missed my Maghreb prayer. My grandmother came to our house and gave me treated me. I was given a massage at the stomach. given some "air penawar",..

Alhamdulillah..

I felt relief.. The pain has gone away, but I still had some dizziness.. I cant stand for long, or else I'll collapse.

mum asked.. "are you hungry?"
then I realize,.. "ya, I am"

mom prepared some porridge for me. I was sitting on the living room. eating my porridge. Mom was sitting next to me. Everyone else had been sleeping. I intended to spare that night for packing. but, ya.. Its our job to plan, But God's job to decide..

I cant really stand well yet, however, considering that I havent prayed, I stand on my feet and try to take wudhuk..
I asked mum to go upstairs first, she mush have been tired. but mom said..

"I cant go upstairs while you are still here".. I said, "its ok mum, I'll manage"

I prayed maghrib and Isyak, sitting. I was standing at first, but the feeling of nausea attacked me. after prayer, I glanced at my phone and someone has been calling. I checked the dial register and I saw the name. Smiling.. I texted the caller saying "yes..may I help you?"

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That was my story. I love Pa. I love Ma. I love Abg Kudin. I love Abang Pong. I love DIba. I love Apik. I love Ita. And I am terribly, missing you guys.........