after all this time

all of us are trying to fit into the society, we are all trying to be someone who is demanded by our environment, people around us, there are certain characteristics that we have to stick to, we can not just simply "be", there are rules and regulation that specifies the "be".. meaning to say, "life" is not "I" alone, life is made up of "YOU" and "I"..yup, "life" is made up of "we"..

but sometime, in our effort to become a person that is socially acceptable in the society that we dwell in, we tend to forget that, the "someone" whom we TRY to become is not really someone whom we WANT to become..

ok, i am not saying that, just follow our head, forget what people say and just be what you want, thief? beggar? rockstars? name it.. dont get me wrong,..

really, there are lots of things out there that do not seem to fit our mind, yet we have to accept it just the way it is, life does not promise us love and happiness all the time, in fact, tears and sorrow are the thing that one will get once he or she purchases 'life' ..it is thing that we can not runaway from..

back to the thing that i want to say,.
sometime, we tend to be hypocrite, in order to satisfy or please those around us, we opt to be someone that we dont like, we acquire this alien character that is totally not us, i am just pointing..

1. why cant we just be true about ourselves?
2. not to show our the mean side of us, but, to enjoy life without the feeling of restriction.
3. we often show the real us when we are in trouble, or real life situation, in a state of wanting something so badly.


maybe its a thing for us to ponder..

..cukuplah Allah bagiku..

...Allah pemberi cahaya kepada langit dan bumi, perumpamaan cahaya Allah adalah seperti lubang yang tak tembus yang di dalamnya ada pelita besar,pelita itu di dalam kaca dan kaca itu seakan bintang yang bercahaya seperti mutiara, yang dinyalakan dengan minyak dari pohon yang banyak barkahnya, yaitu pohon zaitun yang tumbuh disebelah timur dan bukan disebelah barat. yang minyaknya saja hampir-hampir menerangi walaupun tidak disentuh api. cahaya dI atas cahaya..ALLAH MEMBIMBING KE ARAH CAHAYANYA SESIAPA YANG DIA KEHENDAKI, DAN ALLAH MEMBUAT PERUMPAMAAN BAGI MANUSIA, DAN ALLAH MAHA MENGETAHUI..

Yang selalu ada di saat aku hampir putus harapan..

yang selalu menggembirakanku saat aku kesedihan..

yang selalu menemaniku saat aku keseorangan..

yang selalu ada..

ya Lathif..

ya Wahab..

irhamna ya ALLAh..
faghfirlana Ya ALLAH..

...thanks for the dinner..^-^

this night, we had our dinner in four points..
i was having fun with all the food of course,
to make the thing simple and clear..

guests: pengarah, madam angie, madam so, mr. sanjan..
food: a lot..dont know which one to mention
purpose: don know, maybe because, madam think we have to spend the money that debaters have won=p
venue: four points
agenda: eat..eat..eat!


i ate a lot.. i am full know, and its hard to sleep with my stomach full..

thats all, bukan la mau kasi jeles kan but..
ya, it was a nice gathering.

p/s: for riby,k.tia,k.cua,k.ateh..sorilah..saya xdapat tapau untuk kamu2 smua..
saya segan..huhu..memang xbley tapau pun sbenarnya, tapi..i was trying(sudalah..tido la bha..zzz) owh ya.. ok

(**,)

..izinkan aku pergi..

My mak said, once we have done something, and we thing we did not really give our best for it, just pandang depan..

but then, My Mak also said, i am a gud daughter..that, i have to know what to do..

as far as i can remember, i've always been the most lawak one in the family, i am not matured compared to my lil sis..but then, i am a garang kakak as well, it depends on situation..

i have a split personality kot, not that worst la, an intermediate one..

but, mak said its fine,.

one thing that i owez bear in mind is,

mak said like this..

when you start a new thing in your life, there will be no guarantee that everything will be just fine..
but then, its worth to try, you will never know what is there for you,
second time trial, is slightly harder than the first one,

but mak said that, i dont have to worry,,

Allah already knows my limit and ability..

that, i dont have to worry,.

ok,,

i wana slip..

Mak said..

she loves all her children..

so, even if,, sometime,. i feel..alone..

its not true,

i have Allah,
my family,
frens,


and its enough for me,.,

Alhamdulillah...
^-^