i think i have a weirdo frenzo..huhu

what do u expect?emm...i have a unique and different friend, well, i am not trying to raise an issue or gain publicity or something, i just wana share.. this fren of mine really is a weirdo, y?? because she is weird..she watches movie all day long and after tired of watching she will play computer game, what i am trying to say is, whe does not like.. have any other significant thing to do, in fact she is just too relax.. i think weird fren mathces me coz, i am weird too. what else, ya.. she does not even bother to go out to take her meal, erm.. she rarely is in the mood of eating, she once tole me that, she does not wanna eat, but she has to, that is why, she was sort of forced to take her regular meal. emm..whatelse is there to share, this fren of mine is bachelor earner physcological medication; know why, she is i cna say, she thinks she is pro in certaina area thta she resist to listen to any other people opinion except herself. this fren of mine, laugh over so not funny think, but later, i begin to elarn that laughing was just simply her hobby..huhu..looks like i have to stop now, she is watching me typing,,huhu..daaa

i am expecting a brighter future

hey all..
i learn a lot of things recently,
many of them cover my self-construction esteem..
i often being so paranoid about certain things in life, which make me so afraid to move,
but now i learn that, all those tangible effects are actually natural things in life that you can not just run away. the thing to do if we are trapped in this kind of situation is, be strong and just stand tall, be your own person. dont let the fear keep you down. likewise the genetical engineering that surfaces ambivalence, future is merely a dream. therefore, it is each person responsibility to fight for their dream to sustain a brighter expected future. well, in my life, i found that, there are certain things that inspire me a lot that i am too afraid to lose them. being a preoccupied type of person as i was, i have the tendency to test the water first before i make a move, though it is actually very good, but one thing to notice is, it makes me a little bit passive and sometime i am just too comfortable being in my own territory. i dont want to touch others life likewise i dont want people to teach mine, but really la..if i dun take risk, i wont be able to measure how far i can go, how high i can fly or how flexible i can be., just have faith la.. God talks to us in differnt way, sometime HE teaches us by giving us failure,..so that we become aware that, ultimately...hey! everything is safely under HIS plan and control..so, be thankful of what we have.

why should i give in? again??? did i need to do it again, for the countless time, i am sorry.. i am tired with it and just let time decides it. i dont think it was my fault, so i resist to say sorry to her, maybe she feels the same, she feels that she is not guilty. but when i come to think about it, does she really cares about me? moreover, she changes lately, she is no longer the same. there is somehting behind her eyes, her smile and her words. i can not help this doubt to fade, i feel really inconvinient about it. somehow i feel like, i am nothing in her life that she just dont care, i am here or not.

i hate it when we have fight, but, for god sake, i still love her, as a sister and a friend. it just that, my heart can no longer stand the pain that i bear when she treats me condescendingly, i dont know what i have done that causes her to treat me so different, but i am just tired of it. there is no use to cry, somewhere there, she is not even thinks about this conflict that happens between us, she has changed for the reason that i never know.

confront her?.. i am not so sure about that opinion, i dont know what to say anymore. all these while, it has been a real painful. i dont want to be a crybaby anymore. ok.. i think we should take time to realise about all these, about what we have encountered for so long, u c.. if you are not that close with someone, you will have no reason to fight with her or him, but, since she is my beloved sister and friend...aaa....i should be more patient now..

it just painful!!!

i was busy with my life, a lot of things are happening, and they are mesmerizing, that is the moment where i thought that everything will be just fine, just as proper as what i have been planning for. but it was a momentarily delight, sometime i just hate being so optimistic with the future because the moment i feel so, it will live a bad taste in mouth. it was just painful and it hurts me deeply. i feel collapse and i just hate it, huhu.. feel like i have so much reason to cry to now!

but..
i would not..
by nay chance..
let anyone to plant the seeds of doubt in me..
because..
i am one..
and still i ma one..
i cant do everyhting..
but still i can do something,
and because i cant do everything..
i refuse not to do the things that i can do..


be strong!!!!!!!!!

this sem we are going to have our final exam., and this is the final sem for the foundation year!
i should do my best!
aja2 fighting!!!!

it just painful!!!

i am under pressure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

this monday is the day, the day where i will be sitting for my mock exam!
i am very nervous and i just dont know why? everytime i open my book, i dont know which part to start and what should i study!
this is bad, knowing that i must study, yat i havent start yet! huhu.. God bless me, i am so nervous that i cant feel what actually i feel now, i feel everything has change so rapidly now, i feel so blur, i have no idea on what happen around me, everybody has been struggling a lot, but, i am just sitting, my english has become even worst.. i feel sort of despair, i know that i shouldnt feel so, but, u see, i just dont understand....huhuu,, feel like want to cry..owh my goodness...

huhu..
i am very tired, i have just get back from our discussion on fairy tale at mosque, its nearly 1 when we get back just now.. day after day, i am moving closer to the mock exam, and i am afraid that.. i din have enough preparation for it, owh.. social study!
i have just started the interpersonal skills, sometime i feel confuse, because when i have gone through the text rite,sometime i have the tendency to mix the fact.. and it is annoying,,
i din have much time left, i must struggle very hard,, next week we will be having a test regarding short story. and i really need to read it again, though i have finished review during the holiday, i still need to read it again, to intensify my understanding
i really love social study eventhough it kind of difficult and require a lot of effort.. i just like it..